Do most people have one of these? The friend from years ago that is still there, but so many times you really really, if the truth be told, don’t want them to be?

I have one of those. I met her when we were 16. It was a boring summer and I had no one to hang around with when “Ellen” came along. We took tennis lessons together. She was always on the obnoxious side, talked too much and too loudly. Always saying the wrong thing…etc. Years go  by and we are still friends. But, my deep animosity is building as her extreme passive aggressive behavior makes me never want to be around her.

When I was depressed and moved to live with her in California, she would continually block my ability to park on the side of the street we were on. There was enough room for both cars, but she just kept taking up both spaces. No amount of talking changed this. Can we say angry at me? Absolutely crazy-making behavior. A way to thumb her nose at me and not have to take responsibility for doing so.

Over the years I have heard that she talks negatively about me behind my back, tells me I am “too something” (don’t even remember what) to get married, ranked on my new friends right to their faces, kicked me out, disapproved of the few friends I made, told funny stories that showed me in a bad light and, frequently, she did this to my face while others were around.

Over the years she has only gotten worse. She tries to guilt-trip me into remaining friends. This only backfired because I just want to get further away from her.

She loves to tell me what  great friend she has been to me and all but says she is the only real friend I could possibly have. Nice, huh?

I came to the conclusion a couple of years ago that she was poison to me and really did not like me at all. I finally told her so. I asked that she not contact me again. Yeah for me. Said “NO” to constantly being brought down by her in every interaction. Then she contacted me again because she saw some writing I had done.

I put down the rules about how she needed to treat me better or I would not consider resuming the friendship with her again. What does she do? Goes the victim on me. After all, she is such a wonderful friend, how could I accuse her of mistreating me and being insensitive to me, much less truly hating me underneath?

I had forgotten that she was the only person I have ever met who could not issue a sincere apology. Something missing here. The inability to admit any wrong about herself. This stems from some huge issues from her past, I suspect. And while I feel sorry for her in this regard, it doesn’t make me want to be friends.

I wonder how many others have, or have had, “friends” like this and what the experiences are like. I suspect most of us do. Sad for the “friend” but true.

She continually checks my myspace page. Just cannot let go but cannot get a clue. My God, it is so sad, but enough is enough.